That Damn Blueberry Cheesecake
by ishha
Summary: "I'm sorry but grocery shopping with my Alpha isn't on the top of my to-do list today." Leah deadpans before slamming the door in Jacob's face. What will our favorite Alpha do to get his Beta to do domestic work with him? Read and review!
1. Prologue

Hey guys! For the last month or so I've had the idea of our two favourite pack mates going grocery shopping together, but I've never really had the chance to sit down and write it out. :P I was originally planning on it being a drabble, but it just kinda grew. Hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is welcomed!

Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to Stephenie Meyer, though the plot & all original characters are mine.

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**Prologue ** (1st Person POV)

Monday morning I woke up and went to the kitchen to get my usual bowl of Cookie Crisp. Yes, yes I do realize that the cereal mascot's a cartoon wolf, it has nothing to do with why it's my favourite cereal.

Shaking the box's contents into my bowl (instead of the normal sized bowl I just used one of those huge mixing bowls for cake batter and stuff) a little white ball landed on top of my sugary breakfast.

What the fuck is that? Plucking it out I find that it's a crumpled up paper. Deftly opening it and smoothening out the crinkles as best I could I read the message written.

_Jake, I need you to pick up some groceries. Bring Leah along too, she has enough self control to not eat everything before you guys get home. I have a fifty in my bait box. - Billy _

Crumpling the paper again I throw it behind me. Well that's just freaking _great_.

I _hate _shopping.

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Weak prologue I know, but I felt it was necessary. ^_^ In my opinion the 1st chapter is much better.


	2. Gotcha!

**Chapter 1: Gotcha!**

"Ugh, do we really have to?" Leah crossed her arms as she looked disdainfully at Jacob. Jacob, knowing that this would take a while put the Rabbit in park as he leaned his head out the window.

"Yes Lee, for the last time it's our turn to buy groceries for the pack, now unless you want to starve in Billy's house I suggest you get your furry butt into the car." He raised an eyebrow at her annoyed glare.

After spending almost two years as her Alpha he'd gotten practically immune to her patented talk-and-I-will-rip-your-balls-off-and-feed-them-to-you scowl, it drove her crazy.

Throwing her hands in the air she yelled. "What's the point of being the Alpha if you have to do the dirty work all the time?" Calming down just a little bit she huffed out.

"Can't we just get Embry and Quil to do it again?" Jacob couldn't but laugh at the expression on her face, he suddenly realized where Renesmee had learned to pout from. Simply put, Leah look like a 5 year old little girl. He would never admit to it out loud since he treasures his badass points but, the look on her face is just _adorable_.

Smacking himself on the neck for sounding like such a wuss in his head he turned back to Leah. She was still pouting/glaring at him with extreme precision that he suspected took years of practice. For a moment he felt like he would cave and let Leah stay at Billy's eating whatever the hell they had left in the practically empty fridge.

Thankfully though he remembered Leah's weakness.

Pulling his head back into the car he put it out of park and slowly backed out of the driveway, seeing a look of triumph grace her face he quietly muttered. "Too bad though, they're having a sale on Blueberry cheesecake."

Had it not been for their Werewolf hearing Leah wouldn't have had heard a word he said - but she did.

Running to where the Rabbit idled on the road Leah slammed her hand on to the top, feeling the metal slightly give under the force she used she quietly growled. "You fucking dirty player."

Throwing a smirk in Leah's direction he snapped back. "Do you want the cheesecake or not? Because if you keep abusing my poor car I'll just give it to Seth." Trying to keep a grin of his face, Jacob watched as Leah flopped into the Rabbit's passenger seat and shut the door with a bang.

Victoriously he started the engine once more and started the long drive to Seattle.

Round 1

_Jacob - 1 Leah - 0  
_

_

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2nd chapter's about the car ride over there.. Hope you enjoyed! Comment and tell me what you think is gonna happen! :D  
_


	3. Revenge is the best Dessert

**Chapter 2: Revenge is the Best Dessert (after Blueberry Cheesecake of course)**

Sneaking a look at her face every once in a while to make sure she wouldn't hit him randomly while he was driving, Jacob noticed that Leah had suddenly got a bright glint in her eye.

_Oh crap._ he thought.

See the only time Leah had a glint in her eye was when she was planning on making someone suffer, and since it was only them in the car, Jacob had a pretty good idea on who was about to suffer.

_Must. protect. balls... _Jake slowly brought his right hand over his crotch, covering one of his most sensitive spots. Knowing that his boys were shielded, Jacob relaxed into the worn leather seats - at least, until he felt something caressing his knee. Looking down, he saw Leah's hand softly drawing errant patterns on his skin. _Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. _Feeling the familiar tightening of his pants Jacob's eyes stayed glued to the girl in the passenger seat.

Leah was slowly but seductively moving closer to him.

Moving her hand at a leisurely pace to his upper thigh, this time using her nails to put a bit of pressure, her body came to a stop almost directly on top of Jake's.

He had definitely stopped the car by now.

Breathing hard through his nostrils Jacob swallowed the huge lump in his throat preparing to ask Leah why the fuck she was practically giving him a lapdance. Letting a relaxed smile stretch over her face, Leah maneuvered her head slightly down to his neck. Resting her head there she brought her hands to where she knew his hard-on was. Hearing a low groan emit from Jacobs rapidly rising and falling chest, she quickly moved her hands to rest on his sides.

Raising her head gently, she flashed Jacob a teasing smile before leaping back to her place in the passenger seat.

_What... just... happened? _Jake sat in steaming bewilderment while Leah serenely looked out the window. Clearing his throat as best he could, he ordered out in a husky voice. "What the hell was that for?"

Barely turning her head, just enough to let him see the amused grin on her lips she replied. "Getting revenge, duh." Moving her head more to the side she playfully stuck her little pink tongue out at him.

_I wonder what else her tongue could do...  
_

Pushing those thoughts aside Jacob once again started the car.

The only difference this time was that he had a massive hard on the entire drive to Seattle.

Round 2

_Jacob - 1 Leah - 1 _

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_

_Jeez I'm so excited for this story! I love all the reader's responses too. :) :D haha! Sorry I'm just really giddy, this story hasn't even been out a week yet and it already has 8 reviews! :D :D WHOOPIE! Your reviews have gotten me working quicker on the 3rd chapter (where they finally get to the grocery store - woo!), so thank you for reading and reviewing, and I hope you enjoyed! _

_What do you think is going to happen once they reach the grocery? _

_Oh and this was my first try at writing anything even slightly graphic, sorry if it was a little awkward...hahaha. _

_Thanks! -Anastasia  
_


	4. The Epic Battle between Jake & Aisle 28

Hey guys! This chapter is longer than the others (where were both around the 500 mark) so I hope you guys ENJOY! ^_^  
This was as far as I was able to plan the story, so if any of you guys have suggestions I'd be glad to hear them!  
Now, time for me to stop blathering and time for you to start reading the story! :)

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**Chapter 3: The Epic Battle Between Jake and Aisle 28**

When they finally pulled into "West Seattle Thriftway's" parking lot, the duo sighed in relief.

"Oh my aching-" Jake griped as he bent over to touch his toes, hearing a _crack crack crack_ as he did so.

"Oh shut your trap Black, I told you to take a right at Alaska Street, but noooooo! You just had to be all macho and not ask for directions." Ruffling her already hopeless beyond repair hair, Leah seethed in annoyance.

"Whatever Clearwater, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have money to buy food with!" giving her an ear to ear grin as he waved the crumpled fifty infront of her face.

Raising an unimpressed eyebrow at his antics, Leah rummaged through a bag that seemed to have appeared out of thin air, and drew out a couple hundred bills.

Feeling his eyes widen, Jacob looked back up at her with questioning eyes.

"What? You think we'd be able to buy something that could sustain us for more than three days using a fifty?" She cackled in amusement.

"You poor stupid boy." Grabbing his still dumbfounded body by his arm, Leah dragged him in through the large automatic doors.

"First things first, we need to get you some shampoo, hopefully of the flea and tick variety." she said flicking a hand through his shaggy mane.

"Hey!" He howled, clutching his head protectively.

"You can't expect me to be near you 'Oh All-Mighty Alpha' if your covered in lice!" Scrunching her nose at the thought, Leah grabbed several bottles of body wash and threw them into Jacob's hands.

Turning around to ask Leah's opinion on whether or not he should choose "anti-bacterial" or the "hypo-allergenic, Jacob was surprised to find that she wasn't behind him anymore.

"Uh... Lee?" he called out pensively.  
He heard her yell back from a couple yards away, her body obscured by a display of deodorant. _Hmm... I should probably pick up one of those too…_

"Just a second Jake! I'll be right back!"

Staring intently at the bottles in his hands, he felt a light tapping on his shoulder. Moving his head, he saw a young man, around his own age, gazing at him intensely.  
Quirking up an eyebrow, he _politely_ asked the man what he wanted.

"Er, you got something you wanna ask me dude?"

The man's gaze didn't waver as he replied.

"Do you have a map? I seem to be lost in your eyes..." and then he gave a dreamy smile.

Jacob simply stared at the man in shock.  
Never. ever. ever. in his life had he been hit on by another guy.

"Uhhh..." was his eloquent response.

Seeing the man scowl down at the bottles in his arms, he slowly snapped back to reality and heard what he was saying.

"-this simply won't do! Your hair is shiny and straight, you have no need for anti-frizz conditioner!" The man placed his hands on his hips for further effect.

_This is gonna take a while... I just know it._

Those were Jacob's last thoughts as the man - he later found out his name was Laurence - proceeded to teach him all about the importance of using the correct products for your hair type.

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Muttering to himself about nosy people, Jacob stalked through the aisles, head swishing left to right as he searched for Leah, finding her scent was useless since her pine-ish musk was obscured by the powerful antiseptic used to clean the place.

He had just managed to escape Laurence's "help" by claiming his girlfriend was looking for him. He had already tried to bathroom trick, but that just made Lawrence get a disturbing twinkle in his eye.

She was so getting hell for leaving him alone in this god-forsaken store.

Jacob's mind processed the aisles names, contents, and the shoppers in the area.

_Aisle 22 Detergents, Washing Supplies, two old women fighting over a sponge, Aisle 25 Plastic Utensils, Containers, Cups, a young mother trying to quiet her crying kid. Aisle 28 Fe- AHA! _

Spotting Leah's hunched figure Jacob did a short but sweet victory dance.

_Go Jake, go Jake! It's my birthday, it's my birthday!_

Looking up at the aisle sign once more, he stopped mid-Charlie Brown as his eyes widened in fear.

Leah was in the Feminine Hygiene Products aisle.

That was enough to make him want to run as far as he could screaming at the top of his lungs "BOMB! BOMB!"  
But he couldn't. She was part of his pack dammit, and he was taking responsibility for caring for her, and no way in hell was he letting some clueless soft squishy human ask her what was wrong while she was hunched over some stupid box of tampons.

Taking a deep breath and putting his game face on, Jake braced himself for the highly dangerous mission of getting Leah out of the Feminine Hygiene Products area ASAP.

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Clutching the box of tampons in her hands, Leah let out shallow breaths. _Why are you acting so stupid? You never even really wanted kids. This should be a blessing, being a Werewolf was one of the best things to ever happen to you - now you don't have to worry about bleeding out of your "nether regions" every freaking month._  
_YOU'RE SAVING $20 A MONTH LEAH. BE HAPPY._

Gritting her teeth she tried calming down. Unlike anger, which heated up Leah till she was like sizzling oil, sadness made her feel like she was wrapped in a bloodsuckers embrace, the chill gave her goosebumps.

The shrill orders of her inner voice were ruining her calm façade.  
Blocking the annoying speaker, Leah instead focused on the slow, heavy footfalls coming behind her, which she knew to be Jacob's distinctive tread.

Not turning around she heard him playfully whine. "Come on Leah! Quil isn't due for his 'special friend' for another three weeks! Besides, I think he's set for life after last time we picked up some of these things for him."

A fleeting smirk found it's way on her face as she remembered the prank they had pulled on the unsuspecting Quil a month earlier. They had filled his school locker with Heavy Duty, Super-sized Tampons, and uploaded a video (on youtube of all places) congratulating him on his rite of passage to womanhood.  
Moving her gaze back down to the little box in her hands she felt the faint smirk vanish from her face and be replaced by a grimace.  
"Leah." Jacob breathed as he placed his hand on her bare shoulder. Turning her head at the physical contact, the warmth from it helped to melt the iciness of her insides as she gave him a watery grin. Feeling his face mirror hers, Jacob gently pried the box out of her hands and tossed it back on the shelf.

Turning her around so that she was facing he pulled her into a crushing hug, bringing her face to rest against his chest. _I've never been this close to her… well actually there was that time in the car… agh. Don't think about that right now, not now! She CAN FEEL YOU. Now is not a good time to think about that. But still... I never actually noticed how nice her hair smelled. Wait, don't sniff to loudly, god she's gonna get creeped out. Maybe I should loosen my grasp on her? I hope she doesn't cry... I don't know what to do with crying girls. Shit. Jacob for once just focus on the girl you're holding in your arms!  
_

Unaware of her friends inner dilemma, Leah allowed herself relax into his chest.

He just held her while she cried. Neither could care less that they were standing in the middle of a grocery store at the moment.

Right now, Leah, his Beta, his friend, needed him.

* * *

When she seemed calm once again, he raised his head from it's previous position, pressed comfortably against the top of Leah's head. Slightly leaning down to whisper in her ear. He knew that they were supposed to be shopping right now, but he could tell that Leah needed to get her mind of the shit going on, and what better way to do it then mindess video games?

"Lee... do you want to check out the arcade area?" Feeling her chuckle against his chest she lifted her head, she replied saucily. "As long as you don't whine about getting your ass kicked Black."  
And with that Jacob ended up sprinting after Leah to the Arcade games.

Grinning slyly to himself, he gleefully thought.

_Ha, take that Feminine Hygiene Products! JACOB BLACK HAS JUST DEFEATED YOUR EVIL! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!_

It didn't even matter that Leah kicked his ass at pinball - six times in a row.

_(Okay maybe it did, but he wasn't about to admit that to anyone)_

**Round 3**

Leah - 2 Jacob - 1

**BONUS ROUND**

{Between Jacob "the Thunder" Black & Feminine "Instant PMS" Hygiene Products}

Jacob - 1 FHP - 0

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Yahoo! I hope you guys liked what happened in this chapter!  
For those of you who read Dan Bergstein's hilarious "Blogging Twilight" I hope you caught my reference. :P  
Review and tell me what you thought of the chapter and what you think will happen next! (or what you want to happen next)  
P.S. (just referencing some questions/accusations that I'm sure are bound to pop up)  
No, I don't think all gay people are like that. No, I am not discriminatory towards gay people. No I am not homophobic. Yes, I do have a gay brother - what does it matter?

P.P.S. Sorry but it'll be a week or so before I can update again. [I know, I suck... :( I'M SORRY! ] *grumbles* {stupid typhoon}

-Anastasia


	5. Author's note SORRY! :

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated "That Damn Blueberry Cheesecake" in so long. :(

It's been a combination of laziness and the fact that school's started again. [booo!]

I've been getting idea's for new chapters, but I just can't make myself sit down and actually type them, (plus I'm scared that if I do so, they'll come out sounding really forced and craptastic).

On the upside, my friend (she has a fanfiction too! **Bob. O. Riley**) and I have this blog (**http:/wanderlustforwriting**(dot)**weebly**(dot)**com) **dedicated to our own non-fanfiction work. I've been focusing on these stories much more than the ones on fanfiction because I want to be improve my character developing skills, plus at the moment I'm getting much more enjoyment from my own characters.

It would mean very much to me if you guys would visit our site and comment on what we've worked on.

Again, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, but I promise you this, I won't just leave this story hanging. *puts determined face on* I WILL FINISH THIS. :D

Thank you so much for reading, Anastasia.


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